Christmas 2013!

I've got plenty of cousins residing on the different parts of the archipelago. Since I am in Cebu this time, I've got three sets of close relatives that I can go to this Christmas Eve. I've spent a part of the evening attending a church that the company owner goes to with his family. They are nice and they treat their employees very well. Feeling at home, as what they say.

It was quite a long time since the last time I visited my cousins in Lapu-lapu City, Cebu. Five years, maybe. But despite the long time that we haven't seen each other, it felt that the passing of time has not taken place. We did so much together at very little time. Happy to have spent the Christmas with them. I went to Papa's house, too. Kewl.

'Time Flies Fast'

My last blog entry was on first week October. Time, as what all people say, flies so fast. You never see it coming. You never see all the opportunities coming unless you take risks, unless you try, unless you have the will to grab the undiscovered good things coming your way.

I for one did not know what I was doing with my life. But HE did it all for me. He puts me in the right places, at the right time, with the right people. And for the nth time in my entire life. I asked myself...

What have I done good to deserve such blessings? His kindness?

I was never good nor did anything good to please him. I never did something worth praising or did something adorable to his eyes. I was a plain old junkie who spent most of my college years in things that I thought were 'okay'.

But He always look at the best of us. Despite the best of me is hard to find, he stayed, and dwelt within me. So now, with the subtle change brought upon by time, I'll try to be good.

The King's Speech

"I'm a good officer. But I'm not a King! I'm not a King!"

He is the Duke of York, the son of King George V, King and Royal Highness of Great Britain. His name is too long I can no longer recall. But the word in between his very long name is Albert. And his Speech Doctor calls him Berty but he doesn't like that. He is a Duke and Prince after all. And by the way, he stammers, a lot.

Since he is a Duke and the son of a King, he has to attend numerous gatherings and events that greatly require his verbal charisma - an ability, that's sadly, he is not blessed with.

This is a movie. And this one is inspired by the real-life drama of King George VI during the 1930's upon the declaration of war by Germany against its non-ally countries. During those hard times, the speech-defective King tried his best to lift-up the spirits of his people. He gave them hope through delivering speeches on nationwide broadcast.

He can hardly speak, can hardly utter a single word from his mouth. And during his younger years, people made fun of him. His brother teases him. His nanny pinches him a lot because she doesn't like him. And until he grew old, around his 40's perhaps, have gone married and begotten a couple of children, his inability to speak caused topsy-turvy to his prominence.

But he tried anyway, he tried to get the best experts in Great Britain and sought the possibility of being cured. All of them failed, except one. They did tongue exercises and other ridiculous stuff that sounded funny to me. He succeeded and became King, a remarkable one. As a matter of fact, he is one of the most recognized Kings in monarch history.

I love the story because I can relate to his circumstance. I stammer a lot when I was a kid, and I think it occurred psychologically, something happened in my childhood years that led me to acquire such defect. I struggled at first, yes. But I tried my best to overcome that weakness by formulating techniques while talking.

Now, I still stammer though, sometimes. But I'm not that obvious anymore. But watching the movie made me realize that I can still develop my speaking. I will look for exercises that will help improve the way I speak. And I'm very excited about it. Yey! :)

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

(This poem was referred to me by my instructor after I told her about the things I do every time I am bored or temporarily insane. She said that life is too short. That sometimes we need to do crazy and random things to appreciate life.)

Board Exam!

Pinikit ko ang aking mga mata.

Pagka't pagod na sa kakabasa.

Nahirapan sa Chrystallography.

Napaisip ng kunti kay Stratigraphy.

Nakaligtaan si Geomorphology.

Babalikan mamaya si Paleontology.

Ako ay kinakabahan para sa Agosto.

May pang-huling exam sa pagkokolehiyo.

Isang pagsubok na dapat ay lampasan.

Isang mithiin na dapat ay makamtan.

Panginoon! Ako ay lumuluhod, nagsusumamo.

Mga pangarap ko't hiling ay dinggin mo.

Katalinuhan at lakas ng loob aking hanap.

Sa pag-uwi ay maging GEOLOGIST na ganap.

HE Works Mysteriously

The world is crazy. Things have gone crazy. And along the insanity of the world and its unpredictable shortcomings, I remained super for I was built to be super, to withstand trials and face problems one on one.

Really, Ryan? Is that why you have become a sissy? And had almost let go of your dreams and faith and courage and all the things that you want to prove to yourself and to everybody?

Yes, almost, almost, almost. But HE works in wonderful ways. HE listens to me even though I am crazy. HE answers my prayers even though I am crazy. HE has been always good to me despite being crazy. HE is a wonderful and kind creator.

During this circumstance, I have learned a few lessons. HE will help you boost your confidence and make you feel proud and super. But when you have crossed the line, and the blessings have gone over your head, he will take some of it.

Then you will remember your mistakes and because of those mistakes you are being tested. I am now reminded of where I stand.

I am crossing my fingers, hoping my documents will be fixed. I have received a good news early this afternoon. Thank you, Lord. :) For I shall become what YOU want me to be. Your will be done. 

Tonight I miss you...

Tonight it rains in the metro,

Wheels taxi the crossroads,

Lights shatter the rain pour.

Winds gush from the window

And romantic music plays soft,

And heavens masked the stars,

And the skies were lonely,

And the roses gone cold.

Darling, tonight I miss you.

And these letters are of missing,

And this prose is all for you.

Soon, I'd go home and tell you,

"Darling, tonight I miss you."

Call Me...

I am waiting for your call

For if you call, I'd know

For if you call, I'd rest

Then I'd stop wondering

I am waiting for you call

For if you call, I'd smile

For if you call, I'd jump

Then my longing ends

I am waiting for you call

For if you won't, if you won't

Someone else will. 

Jitters! Board Exam! Lord Help!

I thank God for giving me always this optimistic aura ever  since I was born. This aura has led me to several victories and next-after-next success in life. For passing each year level in elementary, high school, and in college, is a success. Education is a prize; and it is something that will forever remain when everything you have is lost.

The PRC Licensure Exam for Geologists is nearing. It is so near that you can already feel the grainy texture of the test paper, and feel the crooked smiles of the examiners if someone fails it. Unlike other licensure exams, geology licensing is held only once a year. That means if someone fails the exam, he shall wait for another year to try it once more.

And I am on the downside, my batchmates have already started their review for the 3-day licensure examination last summer. They have been scanning, reading, etc. ever since after graduation. I, on the other hand, enrolled myself to summer class to graduate and was not able to review because my classes start 8AM and ends 3PM, integral calculus (calculus 2) and differential equations (calculus 3). These subjects, for emphasis, are total headaches. My brain cells were all consumed everyday just of these two, nothing left to review for geology.

My reviewmates have already noticed that my knowledge in geology is not topnotch compared to theirs, and that I am quite forgetful to some of the information I have learned way back in college. But I told them that I will catch up and try the hardest to fit all geology information inside my brain for the next two months remaining, since the PRC Geology board Exam will be on August 13, 14, and 15, 2013.

I also made a joke that I will either top or merely pass the board exam to make them feel better and worry less about the present situation of my brain. But I don't intend to boast or something like that, because deep in my heart I know that I can topnotch, all I need is to focus all my energy for that exam, and I have been praying, and claiming my victory from God. For God's will is always good, he doesn't want us to fail, or feel bad, or hurt. For he knows all my plans in life...all of it...my plans are all good...all for my family... 

I will pass the board exam. I will pass it. I am claiming my victory from you God.

Thank you Lord! 

INSERT --> Oh by the way, while falling in line to register/enroll myself to UP Dilliman's CWM Zena'na Geology Board Review, I saw this pretty chick at the registration table. There are many beautiful women in UP, it is the haven of beautiful women, but I prefer her among any other else. She is a three-letter-named chick. I hope she doesn't show up again. I am easily distracted.

Road Trip...

If I didn't guard myself well, she would have caught me "love at first sight" for the second time around. I'm glad that my priorities are not women this time, just this time.

If my memory doesn't fail me, we met four or three years ago. The moment we met, I fell in love. Who wouldn't? [But I know that me saying this is so redundant. She is not the first woman that I happen to write about in this blog, but still, as of this moment, I'm thinking of the possibilities]. It happened so fast. And our relationship ended so fast, too. It was a hell of a roller coaster ride. In a minute, you are on the verge of extreme euphoria, then the next sixty seconds, you end up emo-emo somewhere.

I was the shy and good boy when we met three/four years back. Take note, shy type and good boy. That means I really don't have the guts to talk to the girls I like. But still, I can relay to them the idea that I like them by just looking at them. I have romantic eyes. Lol. Haha.

How is that possible that I possess such inner good features? Nah, I'm kind you know but I get angry, too. And when I get angry, I really am angry. Ahemm... So that when we met again last week I had to make sure that she and my old friends don't freak out to what I have become. I am no good boy now. :P

I said hi to them since she was with a friend of mine in elementary. I didn't let 10 seconds to pass and told her "Naa ko diri kay makig-date ko nimu." I gave her a smile, too. I know that things like that don't work but really, it's all that I can say. I expected rejection for what I did but still I managed to smile for such a stupid attempt. She just smiled and started to give signs to my other friend. Oh, I know what this is. This is rejection. Ryan gets rejected. NO!!!

But still I stood there, waiting patiently. When it was her turn to stand up, I held my breath for she became a fine young woman. She was attractive... [I need to prohibit myself from writing adjectives because I don't want malice and sensuality to overrule this paragraph] All I can say is that, she is attractive. And any men, any, even gays and dwarfs, would turn their heads to give a good look at her.

I realized that I had to go home, everything went wrong, epic fail. But when I started to walk backwards, getting ready to say goodbye, she walked towards me and asked, "Asa ta mangadto?"

Summers, Summers

I really didn't have much time to enjoy my summers for the last two years.

In 2011, I need to enroll myself to summer class since I need to catch up with my academics. You see, I'm not really good at school. I'm not the A student. But I can compete with the A student if I wanted to. It is my personal preference to stay out of regular classes and refuse to study when major exams are nearing. I like it that way.

In 2012, I went to Baguio City. Baguio seems so good for summer ey? But I'm just kidding, I didn't stay there for good all summer. Lel. :P . I had my On-the-Job-Training in Mankayan, Benguet, a famous mining area located  a few municipalities next to Baguio. That is 6-8 hours of travel from the capital Baguio City. Nevertheless, I had fun in Baguio since I go there during weekends; Streets are hilly; Houses are situated on cliffs; Women are fashionistas; And the temperature is cool.

This summer is no fun, too. My summer classes concluded last Friday, that means I am now an official graduate of 2013. Hey! I need to visit the registrar first to confirm the validity of my claiming a graduate. I hope that everything will be okay. I hope that everything will go as smooth and creamy as a Goldilocks's cake I enjoyed eating yesterday. Thank you Lord :)

I got crushed by crush

That afternoon, past lunch, I hurried to the main road, looking for a pedicab to fetch me to school. I was excited for my exam. Excited because I knew that I was not the only one who would get an egg score [and I was right].

While waiting for a pedicab, I saw her. I saw my crush with someone else, riding in the backseat of a motorcycle [does a motorcycle have a back seat? is this the right term, no?]. Pertaining to what I saw, they were not that sweet. That means they are still in the getting-to-know-each-other stage.

But really, it hurts so bad. That's her in the picture. :P

The Elephant Swings

And that when we hide in silence, and suppress our feelings, and refuse to say what we want to say, is not defeat. It is actually the beginning of maturity, the time when one understands the situation properly and weighs everything for the benefit of your own, or for you both.

WOOF The FUN...

While waiting for the film to show, I had decided to proceed to WOOF, it is where gaming machines (I am not sure with the term. You see, I have a shallow swimming pool of words) wait for your hand to roughly maneuver its joystick, it is the haven of adults with childish hearts.

On the other hand, my going there is apparently not to play. I have long forgotten the joyous moments that those machines could bring.  I am more into computer games. After all, ours is the computer era. However, Steve Jobs even said that we are now in the post-computer era. Enough of that nonsense.

Others went for shoot the ball. Some went for the hammer the head. A few tried their singing skills in the videoke rooms. But when I saw the angry birds (cheap stuff toys) inside that machine I knew that I need to have one.

Paulo Coelho said that when you want something and if it meant happiness for you and the people you love, the universe – the stars, the sun, the moon, the trees, the birds, the air, the flowers and even the little ants – they will all unify to help you. So when I tried my luck for the first time and failed, I knew that I need to try it once more. I failed for the second time though. But I had a feeling, a good hunch, that I would be able to get it so soon.

The third time I threw a coin in the slot, she was on my mind. And if I am going to get that angry bird, I am going to give it to her. My intention was good. And the universe did help me. I got the Angry Bird, the green pig oink oink actually.

Hot Seat, Ass Burned!

I did not join the "hot seat evaluation" (as what my co-editors call it) of our publication tonight. I have my reasons. And I did some errands for my aging mother, too. This evaluation is intended for all staffers, to assess them with their performance and attitude towards work.

I did not join the evaluation because I don't want to hurt their feelings by being too frank on how lousy most of them could get. Really, I need not to remind them over and over again on how lousy and irresponsible some of them could get.

If only the pub is a place for us to become friends then that would be really nice. But the office is not a playground, it is not intended for staffers who will just work if they feel like doing it.

How can I hate them and love them at the same time?

I will do my best, God please do the rest!

I have been crossing my fingers for a long time now. I have been murmuring repetitious prayers every now and then. I have been in fright nights every time I lay my back in bed. I have been constantly reminding myself that I can make it. I have been reminded a million times by my alter ego that if I just do the right things, I can graduate in more or less than two months.  I just need to hold my breath for two months. That's it and I can make it.

I just need to do the right things. I just need to read the right books. I just need to understand all theories and scientific complexities. Then after that, I can make it. 

Lord, please. Guide me and Bless me as you always does.

They call it kitten, I call it Puppy

i like you, i really do

i'll still like you, even if you don't want me to

i like you, i really really do

i want you to say that you like me too

but if you don't, i don't mind

your pretty, and kind, your just so hard to find

if i'm too forward, i'll rewind

i'll finish the race, even if i'm way behind

i like it when you smile

you make me pause for a while

i want to take a picture, stack it on my pile

if that's a crime, i'm guilty, we can skip the trial

i like you, i really do

i do like you, do you like me too?

i want to call you my boo

i don't think i can stop liking you

one hour goes by

there, i would lie

every minute i let out a sigh

waiting, for you to reply

am i going crazy?

or i'm just crazy about you?

you are my fair lady

am i a prince charming to you?

i like you, i really really do

i like you more than any kinds of brew

you can put my heart in a stew

it'll still beat, whenever its near you

time, makes me question

so much, it ends up as repetition

is it addiction or attraction?

so many complications, leads me to contemplation

it starts off as a crush

now its a must

it sticks like rusts

you are my royal flush

i like you, i really do

if you say i do, i'll say i do too

i cant stop thinking about you

because, i think i really do like you

i like you

i really do

i really like you

like really, i do

Am I Really An Addict?

So, it was like this. I was and still am studying when all of a sudden my aunt from Canada called via Skype. There was nothing special about that. She always does that everyday to check her sons and grandchildren and pamangkins (that is me and my fat sister). Then, I remember a deal that we talked about a month ago. The deal was she have to find me some chix there in Canada. I mean, oh la la la babe. 

She also told me that she has seen pretty girls in their church who are in my age bracket (18-21). And that these girls are daughters of devoted church members, pastors and the devout. Nevertheless, I still want to meet some babe from a foreign land. I was eager and excited about it. Half-filipina or pure pinay from a foreign land.

I inquired to her about that, I need an update. Then she told me this:

Tita: Haynako dong. Maulaw pud ta magpa-ila-ila nimo sa mga anak sa akong mga kaila diri. Unsaon manang gwapo unya mag-post-post ug adik adik sa Facebook. Wala jud kay klaro. Puro ra binuang ang pang-buhaton. Taronga sa to imong Facebook. (Ano ka ba dong. Nagdadalawang isip naman akong ipakilala ka sa mga kasamahan ko dito kasi puro mga lamang adik ang nasa Facebook mo. Puro lang mga katatawanan linalagay mo dun. Ayusin mo muna ang Facebook mo.)

Seriously? Can't I be admirable and stupid at the same time?  Wahahahahaha.