I Cannot Sleep!

I cannot sleep. I tried to close my eyes as hardly as I can but they just won't rest. My brain, my body, as well as my eyes have become too hyperactive since last night. I spent all night reviewing my notes, and studied the lessons that would hopefully come out for the final exam that I took a while ago. I have become a nocturnal specie for the last two days. Blame the caffeine-rich energy drink!

The subject is Historical Geology (It's the preparatory subject for Paleontology and much more likely the basics of Plate Tectonics, Volcanism, and Evolution of Men). Here are some parts of the lessons that are still actually inculcated in my brain as of this moment.

It's about the Geologic Timescale and the environments(Tundra, Lacustrine, etc.), flora (flowers), and fauna (animals) that were present in every epoch. It also talks about the Plate Tectonics and the natural phenomena that took place on earth billions of years ago.

Geologic Timescale has aeons, eras, periods, and epochs. We are focusing on the Phanerozoic Era. It has the Cenozoic, Mesozoic, and Paleozoic eras. Cenozoic has the Quarternary and the Tertiary Period. Under these two periods are Hologene, Pleistocene, Pliocene, Miocene, Oligocene, Eocene, and Paleocene epochs.

Under Mesozoic is Cretaceous, Jurassic, and Triassic. Under Paleozoic is Permian, Carboniferous' Penssylvanian and Missipian, Devonian, Silurian. Ordovician, Cambrian, and Venian.

The hard part is you need to study every epoch. Let's take for example Pleistocene Period of the Cenozoic Era. During this time, there exist four common fauna; Dire Wolf, Wolly Mammoth, Short-faced Bear, and Sabre-toothed cat. A series of ice ages occurred during this period. Herbivorous animals' only source of food were savanna flourished lands that have shrubs, grasses, canifer trees, and mosses.

I still have to get ready for the next wave of final exams! Petrology! Structural Geology! Mining Laws and Ethics!

I'm Thinking About You

I've got nothing to write about. So, let it be this way. These are all I want to say.

I just want my gift!

Beep. Beep.

I held my phone and searched for the inbox. My heart jumped for it was Papa. It was unexpected. He rarely remembers me. He rarely sends text message to me. He never calls. Last year, I received two messages from him. That was all. And the message I received from him yesterday was the second one this year.

Papa: Hello yan. How are you? Just focus in your studies. Okay. Give me Rachel's number. (Rachel is my younger sister.)

Me: Fine Pa. How about you? My birthday is upcoming. My gift?

Then, he didn't reply. I waited for an hour...two...three...NONE.

This morning, I've got his reply.

Papa: When is your birthday again?

Wow.  I said to myself. Wow. I just learned that there's a father in this world who can't remember the birthday of his oldest son. It didn't anger me. It was normal. It was expected. It didn't hurt my ego nor affected my emotional behavior. It didn't affect even a single cell in my body. I just want my gift! That's all!

Happy Go Lucky!

There were three of us. My guy friends here in the publication have realized that after having a delicious and tummy-bursting meal at Mang Inasal last night, we've got no other place to go. For the nth time around this semestral break, boredom struck again. And it was at moments like these that we usually hear our spontaneous yet sporadic laughter. We have got the happy-go-lucky-air of a young man with an expanse of freedom.

Here's the first thing we did. We played DotA non-stop until one o'clock this morning. We also played DotA later that afternoon.

The second thing we did. We parked the motorcycle and realized that policemen we're having "Dakop  Session." We watch the different reactions from people who were caught by them. It was funny. Some were afraid. Some were sweating. Some were pissed off. Some wants to run away. Some throttled their motorcycles at max speed at taxied the road like   they own a national high way.

The third thing we did. We ate. A lot

The fourth thing we did. We walked. A lot. Around three hours or so. And talked nonsense.

The last thing we did. We played DotA from 4 AM to 5:30 Am.

When Two Broken Hearts Talk

The rain just fell down quite a sudden yesterday afternoon. I could hear thuds of hurrying feet. And as each raindrop slaps the soil on the ground, I wondered how many drops of tears ran through her face, spilled to the ground when she was heartbroken.

Me: How's your heart?

She smiled, and told me to stop it.

Me: Really. How are you?

Her: I don't know. I still think about him sometimes. It hurts. Still.

Me: Hahaha. I know!

Her: Shut up!

Me: You don't need to lie about it.

Her: I always wanted to tell you about this. It's just that you are always not around.

Me: I'm getting popular. I'm hiding from the press.

Her: I want to move on. How will I do that?

Me: You want to move on? Then let's walk.

We were walking while the rain poured over us. Maybe an hour or so.

Her: I want to forget him.

Me: You can't do that. I mean, you can. But not now.

Her: What did you do when she left you?

Me: You know how it is. I was devastated.

Her: What did you do to get rid of the pain?

Me: I eat. All the time. You see that? That's tempura. I eat things like that all the time.

Her: I don't eat tempura. It makes me vomit.

Me: Then, eat ice cream. See that store over there? it gains profit because I buy ice cream every night.

Her: hmmm...Really?

Me: Sure. Let's eat then. My treat.

Then, it was my turn.

Her: Why still single up to now? I know you. You can get one whenever you feel like it.

Me: You know I'll marry someone at 27 or 28, don't you?

Her: Hahaha. I know. Just stop the cold and harsh social drama.

Me: I'm not hurting her, am I? I know I'm not. Besides, I'm tired of all the people there.

Her: She told me about it. The books and stuff. Hahaha.

Me: I hope she'll be fleshy when I turn 27.

Her: So, how about now. No plans of having a girlfriend?

Me: I'm tired. I'm looking for something. Something real.

Her: Hahaha.

Me: Really. I just don't want anyone getting involved with my life.

Her: Can you remember the days with your ex-gf? Come on! Weren't those days nice? You can stay in your room and be happy about it. That there's someone who loves you.

Me: Was it all about sex? I don't know. You know how she is and what she looks like. Her cleavage makes me weak, and all about her makes me think nothing but sex.

Her: You said you love her?

Me: I did. There was love and lust. But when we broke up, I come to realize that I was attracted to her looks, and later on, feel inlove. I loved her. You know that. And sex, too.

Her: You really did that?

Me: No. Just kidding!

Her: Come on. Just tell me. Did you two screwed up?

Me: What are you talking about? I'm clean. And Fresh. Haha.

And another conversation came up.

Her: You look good together.

Me: Who?

Her: ______

Me: She doesn't get me. She just don't get me! She's playing dumb.

Her: It was your fault.

Me: Mine? My fault!

Her: Yeah. You didn't tell her.

Me: I was obvious. She's just.....complicated.

Her: You're the one who is complicated. I often see you around walking with her and you just  can't say it.

Me: I'm tired. It was Joshua Harris' book. That jerk! That guy led me to singleness.

Her: hahaha.

Me: It's okay. I'm dating someone now.

Her: who?

Me: A Sillimanian chick.

Her: Another one?

Me: Yes. Another one.

Her: Stop that. Go back to her and talk her out. The other one.

Me: Geez. You're sick!

Dark Clouds

I can see dark clouds coming. Thunder roars and lightning rumbles in the gray horizon. I can feel the strong gush of selfishness brought by the wind.  I am afraid of what is coming. I am afraid of what lies ahead of me.

I walked around, trying to see a fine lining where the rays of the sun can seep through a humongous dark marshmallow in the sky. But there was none. There was no light.

Urgghh!!! Waaaaa!!! Grrrrrrrr!!!

This is a post of a zombie. This is an entry of a hopeless mathematician wanna-be who didn't even invest too much effort in taking his math exam. While most students here in the university had spent a cold night, preparing for their exams the next day, there was a good-looking asshole who was too confident with the outcome of his exam finale, and spent the night with his friends playing DotA.

I took my exam a while ago in Differential Calculus. It was easy. Chicken. Pansit. The sad part was, I wasn't able to answer the rest of the test items because it didn't occur in my bean-sized brain that such test questions would come out in the exam. Equations of Circles. Damn. There were 5 items of it, 2 points each. I just missed 10 points!

But you know, I am a procrastinator. I procrastinate most of the time. I did a little review around three o' clock this morning. I studied about Real No.s and Inequalties, Lines and Circles, Linear Functions, Limit of a function. All in all, I did a hell of little review. Around 80 pages or so in a book.

If only I reviewed my notes earlier, if only I refused my friends from playing DotA, if only I did not procrastinate, if only I have become a goody-goody student even just for a night, if only I invested enough effort, I could walk out from that room with a smile drawn in my face.

Which Way To Go?

There is something wrong with the air I'm breathing. It is suffocating and at the same time, it carries a typical cold gush of the wind that makes me shiver. If not because of the sun this morning, I could have managed to sleep all day long. I could have not eaten my meals. I  could have stayed at my room, lie down in my bed and think of the possible eerie silence that will soon strike.

I was thinking since early last week if I could go to a place where I could spend my little vacation. Beach. Farm. Home. Then, I thought again and again for the word 'home' and I wondered if there is someone who can give me one, or who can give them one.

It's not about me. It's about my sister and my mother. I wondered if they're searching for a home, too. And get disappointed because neither one of us can give each other one. I have lived my life well. I no longer ask for a home.

I was planning to bring my sister here in Dumaguete. I'll buy movie tickets for her. I will let her watch two kiddie movies and let her eat all the food that she likes. It's the only thing that I can do for her for all the lonely years that she has been through. She's living a pretty tough life. 

She's living alone since she was 12 years old and was living with our Yaya since childhood. She's renting a room, cooks her own food, washes her own clothes, manages her own money. Now, she's 15, and she is a one tough and smart kid. She'd been in different schools and was a consistent honor student.

I wondered if she was able to understand life at her early age. I wondered if what she does when she's emotionally down, and has nobody to turn to. Does she cry all night long? does she go to school even with a heavy heart? does she think about me? does she think about mom? does she hate the world? does she have a cold heart?

Was there a time when she can't wash her school uniform because she was so tired making all her projects, and wished that if only mom was there with her, things might change?

Was there a time when she get jealous because one of her classmates had a new pair of shoes from his/her father? does she feel sad when she sees her friends together with their families? what does she feel when she goes home late at night because of a school activity and too late to find out that she hasn't got any food left?

Cold heart. I have that one. But I hope that hers is different. I hope that her heart is filled with hope, and love. I hope that she has many friends. I hope that she is always kind to everyone. I hope that she is forgiving and understanding. I hope that she is patient. I hope that her heart is like mother's who is kind and loving. I hope that she will never be like me. I hope that the bitterness of life will never change her.

Lecturing Greenhorns

Me and the rest of my co-editors had a campus journalism seminar and workshop at a public high school last Saturday. My lecture was about Column Writing.

Me: So, anyone of you here knows what a column is?

Students (around 13 of them): NO!

Me: Really? (Then, I smiled and showed them our paper and a sample of a column article.)

Students: You have a picture in it.

Me: I do. Am I not adorable?

Students: (They were laughing out loud) Hahahahaha...

Me: I know. You just can't say it but I know. (I smiled, again. It seemed that my lecture was filled with laughs. Then, I gave them a definition for column.)

Me: When you write a column. You should be one sided. Unequivocal.

Students: What's that suppose to mean?

Me: I mean, when you think that Ai-ai delas Allas is ugly and smells really bad and you write about it. That's your opinion,  without the influence of anyone. And you should write it with conviction. That she smells really really bad. That she's very very ugly. And you shouldn't care of what other people will say about your article. It's yours! You give them the info!

So, I am hoping that within this year, we can give a lecture to a few more public/private schools, both in elementary and high school. I want to meet hundreds of aspiring young journalists out there.