Sometimes, you
just need to say what you want to say. Because in either way, the two of you
won’t get elsewhere but only closer to the truth – That you feel the same way
and you can’t live without the other — The
Salamander
The
glass window cracked open, and she came in. I watched her as she glided
gracefully towards me, and at that moment, I thought she was the most
attractive girl in the world. She walked nearer to me, maybe a few meters or
so, and I found out that there was a gentle thrill in my heart that only
happens every time we meet. It was a mixture of inner emotions that every man
rarely experienced unless he is deeply in love, but I wasn’t sure. I don’t know
if there is love or what I feel for her is just mere friendship.
“Hi,”
she said, and I made sure that our eyes would meet. She grinned at me for a
moment, and gradually it turned to a beautiful smile, the one that meets the
corners of her ears. I nodded, not because it was the only thing I could do.
It’s just that I’ve got no words to say. Then, I smiled back. I looked at her
eyes again, and they sparkled like fine emeralds in the sand of time.
And
again, since the first time we met, as she caught me looking at her like that,
I wondered if she knew what I was thinking. I wondered if she knew that I think
she was beautiful. I wondered if she knew that I think she had been always very
feminine, and attractive to me. And I also wondered if she was even aware of
her looks.
We
were always like this last summer. Every other day, if I have a vacant period
from my summer classes, we would meet at McDonald’s. It was our escape from
boredom and our only way of enjoying what summer could offer.
“So
how’s your day,” she asked me as she fished two sticks of thin-sized potato
fries from a cartoon box. I said my day was fine and that I hate it when the
sun is too hot. She nodded, too, because she prefers walking under the rain
than staying outside under the heat of the sun.
For
a while, she turned her head slowly from left to right, as if searching for
someone. Eventually, she looked at me and drove her eyes to a girl at her left.
“She’s beautiful,” she said. I nodded again, and glanced at the girl she was
referring to. The truth was, I didn’t find the girl pretty because she was
there in front of me. For me, she was the one who was beautiful. Then, I looked
at her.
“What?”
she asked.
I
smiled, “Nothing.” Then, I pulled a set of hand-outs from my bag and started
reading the important things I need to remember for my exam the next day. With a surprising tone, she asked, “Is that
really you?”
“What?
I’m a goody-goody student now.” I continued reading the hand-outs with my
hands. In a while, I heard her laughing. She didn’t believe my first statement. “You see, I want to pass my subjects. That’s why I’m studying.”
“I
know. But that’s just so not you.”
“I’m
hurt.” Then, she laughed again. Sometimes, I wondered why all the things I said
to her that have sense was funny or was it just me that looked so funny every
time I utter adult-like statements.
I
turned the next page and have realized that none of the things I’ve read sunk
into my brain. She’s a good distraction after all. “So, how’s your love life?”
She seemed surprised with my question. Actually, it’s not the first time I
asked her something like this.
“You
asked me that the other day. Have you forgotten? I said I’m not into love.
Anyways, you should get one. You’ve been single for one and half year already,”
she shrugged.
“I
know. I don’t want to get any. I’m enjoying this.”
“Enjoying
what?”
“This.
You and me. Here in Mcdonald’s every other day. I love this. I need no
girlfriend.”
She
did not respond. I held my bottle of coke that I ordered earlier and sipped
some. It was not in a few minutes that we talked again after a couple of young
so-in-love couples came in. “See that?”
“Gosh!
Their teens. They don’t know what’s love. They’re just hopeless romantic,” she
snapped.
“Of
course they do. What’s wrong with you?” I said. Her smile turned into a frown.
She shook her head and said it’s nothing. I nodded and signaled him to continue
eating her potato fries.
I
scanned my notes for the next chapter lessons. Yet again, I couldn’t focus. I
sometimes wondered why she couldn’t get me. Why she couldn’t, at least, get the
idea that I like her. Why she couldn’t define what I meant when I look at her.
It’s
been so long a wait, I guess. I need to ask her now. “You free tonight?”
“Why?
You’re asking me for a date?” she giggled.
“Yes,
because I like you. Don’t you know that?”
She
was silent. She fished another stick of fries and sipped her soda. I was
nervous. I could feel my hands involuntarily shaking by what I have asked. I
didn’t mean it but I like what I did. I tried to look up and find her eyes, but
she just kept on looking down, as if thinking for something.
The
chair cracked a sound and I could see her getting her bag, might getting ready
for an exit. I knew it was a bad timing. I shouldn’t have done that. She stood
up and shove the chair back to its proper place. This is goodbye, I thought for myself.
“See
you at eight o’clock, then.” she smiled and walked away.
Note: This story is a general work of fiction. This story was published in The NORSUnian, the official weekly student publication of Negros Oriental State University (NORSU). I purposely wrote this story to entertain and to give a good read the students of the said university.